Learn To Appreciate Your Child

When you, as a parent, start appreciating your child, you are in a way helping him grow. You are helping him develop his self-esteem. Most of us are quick to criticize and slow to praise. When there’s a whole world out there that would tell them what’s wrong with them, very loud and very often, don’t you think our job as parents is to reverse this order? And tell them what is right about them? Even for a little thing as your child’s handwriting not being sufficiently legible, haven’t you found yourself screaming at him; instead of finding ways to improve upon? Many of us do, not realizing the damages we are causing to the child’s self esteem.

Once when my friend Reena visited her daughter Tina’s School, her teacher told her how poorly and sloppily she wrote, and she needed to improve her handwriting. Reena felt ashamed by the teacher’s comments. At home, Reena kept repeating what the teacher told her almost every day to Tina. One day Tina had to write a note to the teacher, in which she did not place her signature. When Reena asked her why, Tina said rather resignedly that the teacher would easily know who the note is from, by looking at the handwriting. Tina had accepted for herself that her writing was poor and nothing could be done about it! Reena then realised how damaging her repeated admonitions have been on the poor child! Instead of giving her hope she had in a way destroyed her morale. Thereafter, she saw to it that each night when Tina showed her transcription, she would find one neat sentence or at least one word that has been legibly written and give her a word of appreciation. Such little pats on the shoulder started showing results. In a few weeks her handwriting had improved so well that the teacher had to call the mother and convey her appreciation for the child’s efforts!

Instead of evaluating, try to describe what you see. Along with basic necessities of life, we as parents have other obligations too towards our children and one such important obligation is to affirm their “rightness”, the things that they do right.

Avoid expecting quick results. Or find out the reason why your child is not able to perform well.

Each day, remember to appreciate at least one good thing your child does. When your child comes to you to earn your appreciation, words like ‘wonderful’ or ‘excellent’ may not be sink in so well in the child’s mind. Instead, be explicit. Describe to the child clearly and precisely how well the child has performed so that he believes your comments are genuine. It is so do-able.

Involve yourself by looking, listening, noticing and saying aloud what you see and feel. This is to give the child a verbal snapshot of himself. This is more effective as it will bring out your child’s strengths. You would also be giving him the “I CAN” feeling! If he can, he will!

--
http://parentsarise.blogspot.com

Follow your Passion

Did you fall into a rut even after discovering your passion, as the situation demanded it? Or were you persuaded to opt for a profession as you could not pursue your passion? How frustrating it would have been if you were tied to a job you never liked. When this happens our personal growth, happiness and development is destroyed and it paves way to a much unfulfilled life and unhappiness. Would you like to go to a job uninspired and dead? Where every Monday morning is a torture and the week ahead stretches on interminably.
Identify your passion which will make you happy in life. This will be rewarding, a life filled with promises and hopes. Leading a life you love is important. So follow your passion.
We have our dreams for our children. Have you ever thought they too have their own dreams and thoughts? We love to tell others that our children are Doctors or Engineers in the US or USA. And dream of seeing the tag along their name. The society also puts pressure on us with regard to this. When we are unable to fulfill our dreams ourselves we embed our dreams into our children.

It is never too late to begin thinking of your child’s future. There are children who realise their passion and start to work at it early in life. Help them to discover their inner potential. Direct and open communication with your child is important. Encourage wholesome development: get them interested in arts, sports and creative activities. Coax them to join music classes, take swimming lessons, collect stamps, coins or artifacts, and so on. Children may not be aware of this when they are too young. You will have to introduce them to it. Expose them to different activities and choices as much as possible. Support and encourage them. Sometimes, along the way they could falter or fail. This may disappoint them and you. But they need to taste failures as well. They may try and succeed again or change to another hobby or a different course. Yet, you as parents know that you have done your role well.

By allowing them to explore and discover their talents, they can make their own choices or at least be aware of what they are capable of. That discovery would define their inner passion and inspire them to follow it in their life.